Three Reasons Why Your Friends Just Might Be Right About Him

Yeah, I said it … once again.

But as usual, let’s do a disclaimer:

The opinions of TheLadyWrites blog are just those … my opinions. BUT there’s truth in my brand of bullshit. And this blog is no exception. So, there may be times when your friends are just being nosy, or may be having their own issues in the romance arena … or just flat out miserable. And we all know what they say about misery and company.

But there are also times when your good, good girlfriends … or male friends … or just people looking from the outside in, may offer a different perspective on your romantic partner that may prove to be valuable to you.

So without further ado, I present to you, the three reasons why your “peoples” might just be right about him.


  1. They don’t have on love tinted glasses.

When we’re in love, we see things differently. For example, I specifically remember a time when I was in love with a man who had a particular odor emitting from his vocal region. When I first smelled it, I was like, “Oh, that’s just his smell. Everyone has a smell. It’s not that bad.” But Bayeeeeeeee, when those love tinted glasses came off, I realized that pain and simple, this ninja’s breaf (yeah, I misspelled that on purpose, but sometimes you have to do that to give it the emphasis it deserves) stunk.

I mean, like stunk stunk.

It stunk like the smell of the floor of a dive bar at 2 am; like the smell of a womb freely ejaculated in for 7 consecutive days and nights, Ph balance all out of wack; like the unattended port-o-potty in the middle of a desolate park.

That shit stunk.

But I couldn’t smell it at first because I was in that “I love him phase.”

So with all of the funky mouth secretions as our guide, let’s just say that there may be times in your romantic journey when you don’t see (or smell) things for what they are because you’re blinded by the love bug. BUT Your friends aren’t, so their perceptions on what’s really happening VS. what you perceive to be happening will be more objective.

  1. Sometimes the bad does outweigh the good.

When we speak to our loved ones about our boyfriends or girlfriends, we tend to be complaining when things aren’t going well. “Oh, he did this today …”


“Can you believe this raggedy mofo had the nerve to …”

Now, long ago, I listed this line item as a reason why you shouldn’t talk to your friends about your relationships, it can take on a different context … depending on the context.

Think about it for a second.

If you NEVER had anything positive to say about your partner … I mean, like ever.

When all of your conversations with your “peoples” is full of complaints about what this fool is or isn’t doing, doesn’t that seem problematic to you?

In all of the terrible (and great) relationships I’ve been in, I have found myself caping for my partner as much as I complain. But if all you have to say is a bunch of BS he or she is doing and your friends respond with “You need to leave that man alone”, then maybe you should actually take inventory of your pros and cons for being in the situation.

  1. Your friends love TF out of you!

There isn’t much poetic prose to put to this. It’s real simple. Your friends love you. They support you. And while they may put up with a subpar partner because that’s what (or who, rather) you like, it’s crushing for them to watch you go through this EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER – in my Vivian Greene voice – with someone they know doesn’t deserve you.

You are kind.

You are beautiful.

You are all of the things any man would trip over his own two feet to have.

And when you put up with shit that doesn’t serve you a positive purpose, it’s hard to watch.

Trust me, I’ve been on both sides of the fence: watching my friend be mistreated and screaming for her to liberate herself …


Being the one who needs to break the shackles of a relationship that just isn’t right.

Neither position is a walk in the park.

But your friends and loved ones (not those salty, hating broads on the sideline), genuinely care for you and don’t want to see you hurt.

And that’s all I got this week, folks.

Slowly getting back into by blogging bag, so bear with me while I tend to some real world shit, like how I’m going to get to the income bracket where I can consistently buy two-ply paper towels.

Until next time, fam.

Love and Light,



What did you say?

You miss me when I’m gone?

Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week:



Good Reads:

You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon:


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