I had plans to write this epic blog Monday morning about an article I came across a few days before.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t write it because my mind couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that it was 5 a.m. and I still hadn’t finished my first cup of coffee.
With my mind still in Never Never Land (the land between sleep and awake for those of you who don’t know), the thoughts of self-doubt began creeping in.
For the past month or so, I’ve been writing more and faster than I thought I could.
Hell, I’ve pumped out 12 short stories and of course I think they’re pretty good.
I came up with the brilliant idea of putting ten of them together and publishing a book of short stories. I got my manuscript together, sent it out to my beta readers, and then the doubt set in as I sat at my computer on Monday.
Can I really do this?
Am I really a good writer?
Will people like it?
I sat here staring at the walls, letting the feelings rush over me.
I carried it to work with me and went on about my normal day. I punched this key for that and that key for this. It sucked.
I talked to a few co-workers and everything was “normal.”
But out of the blue, a co-worker handed me a beautifully bound leather journal with the words “just keep writing” inscribed on the cover.
What the what! Was that the universe talking to me or what?
If that wasn’t enough, I got off of work to find the proof of another book I wrote sitting in my mailbox. While I was wallowing in my self-pity, I’d forgotten about putting the order in.
Just holding the proof in my hands made it all seem so real. It made me realize I can really do this.
I think all writers doubt themselves. It’s as much of a part of the process as picking a cover or editing.
Getting over that hump takes a brand of courage I don’t think many people can truly understand.
Needless to say, I’m back to pumping out writing like a book factory.
And it feels damn good!
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