In honor of … well, there isn’t actually a holiday to correlate with this blog, so let’s make something up.
In honor of The Annual I Just Feel Like Complaining Celebration, I humbly present to you …
Drum roll please …
The Top 5 Things That Annoy Me about Working in an Office
- The asshole who drinks the last of the coffee and doesn’t make another pot.
I counted the other day and it literally takes 35 seconds to empty the filter, rinse the pot, put in some fresh grinds, and press the “on” button. The only way the coffee machine manufacturer could have made it simpler is if the contraption flew to Madagascar, picked the beans, and ground them on the flight back home. So please, please, please explain to me why you just fill your cup and walk away. I can see by the pep in your step and paranoid looks over your shoulder during your departure that you know you’re foul.
Or perhaps you think that just because there’s still a trace of brown liquid in the pot means you’re in the clear.
Either way, all it will take is half a minute to correct your awful office faux pas.
Just remember Dear Sir, “If it’s not enough for a cup, fill that bitch up!”
- The women’s bathroom.
Women are supposed to be these tidy, demure creatures, right? Um, yeah, NO. If nothing else will convince you of this fact, take a trip into the women’s room at the office. It’s a vile, disgusting place filled with a sour mixture of aromas, bodily fluids, and unflushed toilets. I’ve seen boogers on the walls, finger prints in smeared poo, and unflushed concoctions in toilet bowls that would rival anything seen in any bar on the East Coast. I often overhear my co-workers saying things like “if these people treat this bathroom like this, imagine what their bathrooms look like at home.”
But I think that’s the crux of the problem. If your bathroom looks like a foreign dungeon in the privacy of your own home, have at it. You’re the only one that has to clean it up. But that’s obviously not the case at the office. To leave the bathroom in such a state of disarray is not only disrespectful to oneself, it’s disrespectful to the poor soul that has to clean up that mess. If I use the bathroom 6 times during a typical work day (I drink a lot of water), there’s something questionable going on in the stalls during at least half of those trips.
Let’s face it. I’m a woman, I understand how things go, but there’s nothing going on that can’t be cleaned up with some tissue and wet wipes (a must have for everyone). Get it together, ladies!
- Not being able to talk about our differences.
While I understand WHY we should be talking about topics such as religion and politics at work, there’s a small part of me that doesn’t. Looking at the average American workplace, you’ll find all kinds of people, of all kinds of backgrounds. There was one point where to the right of me was a middle aged Jewish woman and to my left, a 22-year-old recent college graduate from Poland. In front of me was a 30-year-old Puerto Rican woman from the inner city who also happened to be a Jehovah’s Witness and behind me was a 25-year-old young man from the Caribbean. Talk about a melting pot! There were so many different things we could have learned from each other. From food to cultural norms, understand who you’re communicating with and gaining insight into how they think could prove to have far-reaching, positive impacts. Our strengths, weaknesses, points of views are all a part of who we are and it’s all important, especially when a group of people are working toward a common goal. And if nothing else, it would be nice if when describing someone (ie: another employee whose name is escaping you) you didn’t have to whisper, “You know, the tall black guy” out of fear of sounding “racist”.
- Not being able to tell the truth.
I am by no means advocating the elimination of “little white lies”, like telling your boss you had to make a phone call when you snuck out for a quick cig break. What I am advocating is just an elimination of all the BS. Why can’t you tell your boss they’re getting on your nerves if they really are? Why can’t they tell you your desk looks like the shred box threw up on it? Why are we walking around adding all these extra words to our sentences because it’s simply not polite or professional to tell your co-worker their breath smells like shit? In my opinion, if you’re interviewing for another job in another department, you should be well within the confines of acceptableness when you say, “Listen, you know my boss is really irking me lately and I want to come and work for you for a few months or years until you start to irk me too.”
Simply put, I really wish we could just cut the bullshit.
- Being considered lazy or lack ambition because you don’t want to stay after 5.
Companies all over the country talk at length about how they provide environments that foster good work/life balances for employees. What they don’t say, however, is that if you’re in that parking lot at 5 p.m., you’re fall in the ranks of the slackers.
I’ll do whatever is asked of me (as long as it’s legal) from the hours of 9 to 5, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
Has anyone ever thought that the employee still present at 7 p.m. doesn’t manage their time effectively? Better yet, ask someone who consistently works 12 hour days for someone else without compensation — because they’re salaried — if they’re happy. I bet you $100 more times than not the answer will be “no”.
I am away from my family for the majority of the day. If you see me running to my car in the parking lot, I’m not running away from work, I’m running to my family!