Getting My &*#@ Together Series: It’s OK to Cut People Off / Living Your Truth

There are probably millions of witty memes floating around about cutting people off.

Clearly, it’s becoming a popular thing to do.

But unless you’re one of those people who believe everything they read online, you know that what’s popular isn’t always productive.

What we’re doing when we are cutting people off in this sense is isolating ourselves because some people just aint *&@$, not an elimination of “noise” to focus on self. But that latter is what we should be doing.

I remember starting on this journey and not even knowing what the hell was going on. I just knew I couldn’t be around other people too much because the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and energy of the people around me was stifling my thought process and, by extension, my growth.

So for two months, I decided I’d do nothing but work,

come home,

and take care of children;

no talking to friends,

no social media,

and limited interaction with family (we’re very close, so they would have kicked my door down if I didn’t answer their calls).

I just felt like I needed to be alone, with only my thoughts; free from the input and impact of the people around me.

I called it a cocoon.

When I came out on the other side (and I’m still not sure if it was because I’d become accustomed to being learning to enjoy my own company), I didn’t have the desire to connect with people who didn’t bring out something good in me; that I didn’t feel good around; couldn’t be my true absolutely self with or learn something from. It almost physically hurt to be around people who didn’t “feed” me in some way.

Can you imagine how difficult that made getting through a work day? I mean co-workers are cool and all, but the majority of them are not doing anything to contribute to any positivity in my life.

That removal process was surprisingly easy. What I hadn’t expected was that I, too, would be removed.

Let me tell you another story (if you haven’t guessed by now, I love telling a story to illustrate a point).

The TRUTH is absolutely necessary for growth of any kind, it also is about as pretty as a cheap lace front.

The more I grew in this way, the more honest I was being with myself and those people I still allowed in my space.

A few months went by and I found myself getting estranged from what I considered my best friend for 20 plus years. She literally stopped answering my calls one day. I tried to reach out to her a few times and while we connected, I could feel her energy toward me and our friendship had changed.

Eventually we lost touch. <Insert your sad face emoji here.>

At first I was hurt, then I realized one of a few things had happened.

Maybe my change and growth showed me in a light she had decided wasn’t right for HER journey.

Maybe she didn’t like the person I was becoming.

Or maybe through her growth she realized she never liked me in the first place …

because just like me, others are growing too.

Regardless, of the reasoning, I have come to realize everyone is not meant to come with you on your journey. Whether you’re the one separating yourself or the separation is forced upon you unexpectedly, the outcome is still the same.

Your journey is your own.

I’d stripped myself of everything, except for my basic needs and responsibilities, looked at myself in my truest form and rebuilt from there worked for me. It involved confronting my best and worst qualities, then deciding what I could live with and what I felt was getting in the way of living my best life and being happy.

It was only then that I could attempt to restructure my world around what I saw currently and what I saw for my future.

This restructuring takes so much dedication and focus that some people just won’t fit anymore. And that’s ok. But it’s this structure that took me to the next phase of my growth, but more on that next time folks.

Until then, be kind to yourself.

Love and light,

Erin