I have had some experiences in my life.
I’ve been the good guy.
I’ve been the bad guy.
I’ve met many people;
Had many relationships;
Done lots and lots of things I shouldn’t have done. *insert face palm
But such is life.
Heck, maybe I should write a book about it … oh, wait. I already did (shameless plug: http://www.amazon.com/author/erinmcmillon)
But after bouncing around emotionally aimless, I decided to try to take control of my own BS and change my world from the inside out …
And in doing that …
I foolishly thought …
That if I cast a beautiful net, I will only catch beautiful things
While I totally got this phrasing from a movie I saw last night (OA – Netflix — Pretty Dope – Watch It), the conversation between these fictional characters stuck with me … because, ironically, it was real.
You see, I thought that if I lived my life with love and peace leading the way, that I would only attract loving and peaceful things.
Ha! Yes, I’m idealistic …
Yes, I live a lot in my head …
But I like it in there, dang it!
But I also live in the real world and unfortunately, there are times when the energy you put out isn’t the energy you get back.
Sometimes people will mistake that love and peace you’re putting out as weakness, controllability, and naivety.
And unfortunately, many people have been given dirty water.
You see, as I navigated my walk and began to let go of guilt, shame, and insecurities, I started to feel light; like I was floating on a cloud sometimes. And me being me, I couldn’t help but want to share; want to help other people so they could feel like I did; so they could feel accepted and safe in a world that makes us feel everything but that.
So I made my beautiful net … and I didn’t necessarily cast it out all of the time, but I wore it loud and proud … sometimes wrapped around my head when I was really feeling myself; other times as a skirt because I’m dramatic; and sometimes, just folded in a little square because I was too busy trying to deal with my own BS.
But the more I made this beautiful net; the more it grew, the more I came to find there were all kinds of things and situations getting caught up in it, some of which served me no positive purpose.
You see, our intentions can be pure and good, but we can’t controls those of others.
Our motives may be to help, but we have to be cautious about strangers … heck, sometimes family.
We may have kind hearts, but there are many others who wouldn’t know what to do with kindness if it was given to them
… and while this is sad and you should feel compassion for those people, it doesn’t mean that you have to put up with it because it was attracted to the sparkle on your net.
So I’m not trying to tell you to stop casting out your net.
I’m just telling you that when you do …
I want you to let it sit in the water for a while;
And let some of those things that aren’t clinging too tight to fall off.
Then give it a good, hard shake,
Before bringing it onboard.
Until next time, folks!
Love and Light,
What did you say?
You miss me when I’m gone?
Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week …
You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon: