“He’s Ain’t Gone Change, Sis!”

“I wish he would just …”

“The way they do things at this job is …”

“I really don’t like it when she does …”

I hear this over and over and over again from the same folks about the same things. And I’m taking a stance today, my fellow members of the woman coalition,

because that job,

that man,

your momma and your daddy,

your pastor and the congregation,

whatever the person or situation …


So stop wasting your time waiting!

Let’s get into it …


As women, I often see us in situations in which everyone else is happy and getting what they need or want … drum roll, please … but US!

And while the situation we’re in may not be our fault, the fact that we’ll sit around and “wait” for things to improve IS.

Your mate isn’t doing the things you require to make you feel loved. You stay, placated with promises that things will get better.

He’s happy, you’re not.

Your job overlooked you for that promotion you worked so hard for. But you refuse to blow the dust off that resume because of your manager’s promise for “next time”.

They’re still profiting from your hard work, you’re not.

side eye

See what I mean?

I’m not sure of the underlying cause of this dynamic I see with us, but we have this habit of lulling ourselves into complacency with situations that serve us no positive purpose for yearssssssssss; like we’re blinded by the potential, instead of what it actually is.

We take these promises of change, fill up our tanks, and idle ourselves into exhaustion … only to wait some more.

Because while we think we’re just waiting and being understanding, the truth is that all of that “patience” only serves to tell the person or situation we’re waiting for that they don’t need to change.


If there are no consequences for their current state of being, what’s the incentive for change?

Why would a company change its policies or actions that are “holding you back” when it is still profitable?

Why would a man change his behavior and actions in your relationship when you’re still there, giving him all of the things he asks for?

It won’t!

He won’t!

They won’t!

So guess who has to change?


Am I telling you to quit your job? No.

Am I telling you to break up with him? No … well, maybe … LOL

In all seriousness, the conversation I want us to have with ourselves this week is that you can’t depend on these jobs, your mate, and anyone outside of yourself to give you what you deserve.

YOU have to claim it and demand it for yourself!

And sometimes that means CHANGING YOU, moving on, and seeking situations that are more in line with what YOU want …

Because guess what, sis,


And since we all know time is not promised,

Don’t you owe it to yourself,

To determine how valuable your time is to YOU,

And move accordingly?


Until next week, folks,

I want you to take a few moments this week,

to think about how much time you spend,

Making other people happy,

While you’re waiting for them to fulfill your needs,

Then I want you to send out an invoice for any discrepancies noted,

And close out that account.


Love and Light,


The Lady Writes


What did you say?

You miss me when I’m gone?

Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week:

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Good Reads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8022454.Erin_T_McMillon

You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon:






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