During the last few weeks, I’ve had some personal conversations with loved ones and come across some things online that got me to thinking. It started with popular Youtube comedian Tre Melvin “coming out” and revealing to the world (or his YT followers at least) that he is a bisexual man. Hmmm … <— that’s my wheels turning.
A few days after that while fumbling through the channels on a lazy Saturday afternoon, I came across a MTV “True Life” episode titled something along the lines of “I’m Attracted to Men.” Here, two young men allowed cameras into their lives to document their struggles with revealing their true selves to the people they loved. (The first of these men was engaged to a woman and the other was about to be a father for the first time). Hmmmm <—- they’re a’turning again!
Shortly after that, I received a call from my closest friend and we began a discussion about interracial dating. Is it wrong? Is it right? Who cares? I then asked her how she would feel if one of her children came to her and told her he way gay or dating a woman of another race. Hmmmm <—- you get the point by now.
So I got to thinking. Does it really matter? I’ve never met a person that said, “I fell in love with my husband because he is black.”
I’ve never spoken with a woman that said, “I love my wife because she is a woman.”
This bought me to the belief, thought, notion … whatever you want to call it … that we don’t fall in love with people for what they are, but for who they are.
When having conversations with people about their “better halves” they always talk about how kind the person is, how they make them feel, the nice things they do for them.
Think about high school. Most of the boys usually chased the same girl because her hair was long, booty was fat, she dressed well, or whatever the popular status symbol was at the time. As time passed, however, those same boys began to realize that those things don’t make a good mate, or person for that matter. In other words, what is aesthetically pleasing is not always emotionally pleasing. We grow, learn, and progress (well most of us anyways) and end up with someone we love because they are … well, them.
This has to be true across, races, sexual orientations, religions, and every other label that’s been created to separate us and lull us into believing we are different when we aren’t. We are human beings and as that, we are able and willing to fall in love with other human beings.
Some people say being “gay” is something that can be fixed. What is there to be fixed if it is very simply one human being falling in love with another?
This was of particular interest to me because I was able to challenge my own thinking and beliefs by conversation and thought; patience and removal of the ego; compassion and, somewhat ironically, love.
If the worst thing you can say about a person is that they are gay or like to date outside their race I think they’re doing pretty OK in life. What do you think?