But I love him so much,” my friend sobbed to me. “I don’t understand why he doesn’t want a commitment with me!”
Now, I was definitely listening to her and providing a strong shoulder to cry on, but my mind couldn’t help but to wander.
Indulge me for a second and let’s take inventory of this young man:
- He is very handsome. I’m not going to debate that for a second.
- His body is built like a bronze statue.
- He’s great in bed. (Or so she says and I’m definitely going to take her word for it.)
- He’s got a job.
- He knows how to have a good time and is often the life of the party.
Ok, so he’s a pretty awesome dude. But what I didn’t want to tell her is that he is not going to be able to give her what she wants.
Because at this point in his life he isn’t the kind of guy you marry!
He’s the kind of guy you go out with … have a good time with … and er, allow him inside of your sugar walls, if that is what you so choose to do.
See, I hear men talking all of the time about how there are women you marry and women you sleep with.
Guess what? The same thing goes for men. There are some men you date and some men you marry and when you begin to confuse the two you end up like my friend ^^ up there ^^.
If you don’t know, a husband:
- Is handsome … or not … but has heart, soul, and other non-aesthetic qualities that outshine the looks of Idris, Denzel and Brad combined.
- Has a body like a bronze statue … or not … but would lay his flabby ass, beer belly, and love handles between you and anything that ever tried to hurt you.
- Is great in bed because you two have opened yourselves up to each other, allowing your energies to become one with each bead of sweat and heavy breath.
- Has a career and understands his role as a provider. OR, as I’ve seen, stays at home with the kids while mommy pursues her career.
- He knows how to have a good time, but knows you are the life of the party.
So, therefore, hitherto, ergo, stop giving “dating material” the perks of “marriage material.” Better yet, stop giving husband/partner benefits to anyone that doesn’t fit what you want.
Never settle than anything less than what and if “he’s” not doing it, there are plenty of others that will.