Because there are also times when I am happy; times when I’m sad; when I’m frustrated; giddy; calm.
And then there are times when I’m just there.
Because I am a human being and I have a range of emotions, just like every other human being.
The problem is, as that as a black woman, I’m constantly labeled as angry.
But reality is that I am entitled to my emotions … ALL OF THEM.
And if there are moments when I am angry, I have EVERY RIGHT TO BE!
You see, black women are arguably the most educated group in the US … but are definitely the most undervalued.
Our bodies are sexualized and fetishized as soon as we hit puberty. But if we try to embrace that and the natural human sex drive, we’re seen as promiscuous.
We’re told we’re the backbone of the community, but then are reprimanded and shamed for the matter in which we speak up for ourselves.
We’re scolded for not “knowing our worth”, then bashed for being gold diggers.
We go natural and are told our hair isn’t done. So we wear weaves and get shunned for not being natural.
Our men are more likely to date outside of our race than any other and I’m not saying people can’t date who they want, but that preference often comes with disparaging remarks. IE: “I only mess with Becky’s because black chick are ______.”
That’s right, we’re also sometimes blamed for what someone prefers in a mate that isn’t us.
And speaking of blame …
I scroll through social media and am shown images and memes blaming black women for black men not being in the household.
We’re told our features are undesirable, then watch as fairer skinned women with the same exact features are placed on a pedestal.
We’re sometimes left holding the bag and picking up the pieces after failed relationships leave us on our own, making us overly cautious the next time around in an effort to protect our feelings and those we care for. And guess what? We’re villainized for that too.
We’re told to be sensitive to issues black men encounter (and this is not to minimize the hardships black men face), but who is sensitive to our issues? Hell, we can’t even talk about them because we’re told we’re “man bashing”.
We’re accosted in the street sometimes. “Hey girl! Hey girl! C’mere. You with the pink shirt. You with the big tits.” You know, shit like that. And when we turn down these ridiculously offensive attempts at getting our attention, we’re called all kinds of horrible things. I even had someone throw bottles at me after I turned them down … on more than one occasion.
But to let the world tell it, we should still be these caring and soft creatures who cook and clean and work full-time and make babies … all with a smile permanently plastered across our faced. Oh and let’s not forget that we’re also supposed to do all of this with clear skin, tight bodies, and acceptably curly hair that lays down and doesn’t stand straight up, all without getting tired or frustrated; without complaining; without being angry sometimes.
Nah, fuck that!
I’m going to scream it from the mountain tops because it’s true:
IT’S OK TO BE ANGRY!
For every black woman I run across in a not so stellar mood, I see so many more doing all kinds of things; displaying immeasurable strength; showing off their creativity and entrepreneurial skills; being the epitome of ambition.
So I really don’t want to hear this nonsense about being an angry black woman.
Because while sometimes we can be, we can also be a whole lot of other things … JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
So the next time someone complains about an angry black woman, I want you to think about me, flip them a big healthy bird, and smile.
Because we don’t have to validate our feelings to anyone.
Until next time folks,
Love and Light,
What did you say?
You miss me when I’m gone?
Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week …
You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon: