We all know that we’re born alone and die alone, so while it’s not an outright necessity, it does help to have a gang of girlfriends behind you to help cheer you on.
I mean how could you not get a much needed ego boost from a well-placed “yass, sis”;
Or a good old “Come through with that puff, serving Pam Grier fierceness” when you thought you were having a bad hair day;
Or even a soft “I’m really proud of you” when you reach a milestone in your career or personal development.
But what I find in dealing with women sometimes, is that we treat our friendships with other women as disposable.
Ride with me on this theory for a little bit …
How many times have you or a girlfriend had a significant other do them wrong (lying, cheating, sometimes stealing) and two weeks later the relationship is mended because “I love him … we’ve been together so long … We’re going to work this out.”
Now how many times have you had a girlfriend who you may have wronged or may have wronged you? Did you get or give that same energy?
Odds are, the answer is no.
Because I think sometimes we place more value on our romantic relationships, than those with the women in our girlfriend gang.
Now I’m not telling anyone to swap romantic connections for hanging out with a gang of bitter Betties talking shit over boxed wine.
What I’m saying is that the connections we have with our girlfriends are real. And friends, real friends aren’t always going to get along, think the same, or have the same interests.
This is especially true with talking about old girl gang relationships; going from children to adults; college students to mothers. Things are going to evolve; roles are going to change; people are going to grow. But we need to be patient with each other in this process and give our girlfriends the same energy we give other relationships.
Because regardless of the dynamics …
It’s a relationship all the same.
And relationships take work … if they’re going to work.
So stop throwing your good, good girlfriend to the side when she does something you don’t like.
Tell her … Talk about it.
Stop talking shyt about her because she went back to the same dude after he keeps hurting her.
Be that shoulder and offer sound, useful advice when asked.
On the flip side of that, don’t be that woman who stops talking to your girlfriend because you know she doesn’t like your man.
If he’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated, it’s her love of you that makes her hate him … remember that.
I just want us all to make a mental note to take care of each other, ladies.
After all, there are some times in life when we’re all we have.
Until next time folks,
Love and Light,
What did you say?
You miss me when I’m gone?
Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week …
You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon: