Getting My &*#@ Together Series: Self-Care 101

If you missed it, yesterday’s Facebook post went a little like this:

“Many women don’t achieve their full potential because they spent their time and energy supporting, taking care of, and investing in the dreams of their husbands and boyfriends. Thoughts?”

One of the recurring themes that emerged from this discussion (outside of finding balance with the people we care for in our lives) was the importance of self-care.

Over the years, I have come to embrace caring for myself before I tend to the needs of others, so I had it on my list of things to touch on.

Yesterday’s conversation, though, pushed it to the front of my mental queue.

So without further ado, I present to you the basics of spoiling yourself. As with most things we struggle with, I find getting started is simpler than we think. All we have to do it plan it out a little bit.

You should:

  1. Establish a schedule for all of your responsibilities.
  2. Figure out a time (even if it’s 15 minutes a day) that works for YOU!
  3. And protect that time with all of the territorial fierceness you can muster! I mean, protect it like a lioness does her pride; like a momma bear does her curb; like a greedy co-worker does that last piece of cake at the office party. PROTECT THAT SHIT!!

Once I got that part out of the way, I was admittedly kind of lost. I had my time blocked out, but I’d literally sit there, staring at the walls, overthinking my next move.

But because I love y’all, I’d like to save those of you who are also in awe of actually having time for yourself from looking like a nut.

So if you’re not sure what to do with your newfound “free time”, take a little trip down your scroll bar (or finger swipe for my phone viewers) for a peek into how I get down with my me party.

  1. Exercise
    1. I know this doesn’t sound like much fun, but I assure you that once you get going you’re going to feel great. The first week or two is going to suck and suck bad. Your muscles will ache and your mind will tell you to quit, but the truth is, I’ve found that there’s nothing more helpful for clearing my mind for the day than working out. (And ladies, please don’t be afraid to pick up some weights. I promise you won’t look like a dude, despite what the uninformed will tell you.)
  2. Refresh your spirit
    1. IDK what religion you practice or don’t practice … doesn’t make a difference to me; not my business. Just make sure you take care of your spirit. Whether that means going to church on Sunday, meditating and chanting in the morning, or lighting candles for ancestors. Just do something that’s going to help remind you to keep your faith strong.
  3. Clean your body
    1. Clearly, if you’re reading this, you’re not a pre-pubescent boy, so I don’t have to tell you to take a shower. The kind of cleansing I’m talking about is the kind where you light some candles, put some rose water and Epsom salt in the water and just be.
  4. Eat Well
    1. I’m not your mom and the child in me hates to admit it, but when I eat nothing but lean proteins and green veggies, I feel like a GD superhero. Heck, eating well could also be indulging in a cheesesteak too, every now and again (clearly I AM NOT ABOVE IT LOL). But I find I feel best when I’m eating well. Take it or leave it ladies, I’m not judging if you want to down a pint of Ben and Jerry’s either.
  5. Activity
    1. Find an activity you like doing and do that shit! Like to write? Write that shit!. Like to read? Read that shit! Like to wear pink tutus and dance around the house? Shake that shit! When I started, I thought about all of the things I ever wanted to do that I may not have been able to for one reason for another and I added those to the list.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you’re doing it because you want to. This is YOUR TIME and because we don’t get a lot of it, it’s important that you enjoy yourself and give yourself time to recharge.

Until next time, folks!


It’s important.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again …

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Love and Light,




What did you say?

You miss me when I’m gone?

Well, you know you can keep up with my antics every other day of the week …




Good Reads:

You can also find all of my books The Becoming of Us, Vol. I, The Becoming of Us, Vol. II, What’s Hiding in the Dark: 10 Tales of Urban Lore, and They Eat on Amazon:


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